Tired

feeling kinda tired yet can't sleep...

hmm... i've always like to buy a lot of things, sometimes just spending for the fun of it, sometimes to encourage myself after working so hard, sometimes its because i really like the items. what's the last thing i bought for myself to encourage myself that is not work related? hmmm... can't remember already... i bought iphone for work, though in the end i didn't use it for work... bought the guitar pedal for church, and am thinking of stop playing at worship... felt like buying a bicycle for myself for a while now... or maybe buy an imac for my room... something big to encourage myself... been feeling really worn out after working so hard... or maybe all these work that i've done is going to nothing, that's why feeling so worn lately. can't motivate myself to work lately because there's really no reason to work hard, no reason to save.

if the last thing i was happy was during my dad's birthday, then i haven't been happy for the past 10 days.