I have long realised that I am too nice that I'm taken advantage of. Or at least, Ling told me that... she thinks I'm hopeless when it comes to helping others... I remember the moments where she'll just scream at me for lending my car away and end up having to take cab at funny hours. I remember her fumingly got mad at me for trying to be there for anyone at church because they need people around... etc.. She's really strict with me, but I always held my stand, of being nice...Yesterday, I do felt I'm made used of (again) ... if I want to count, I would still have lost track of the number... sometimes I felt as if I'm just toyed around so that I can extend help, haha, talking about manipulation, I'm also easily manipulated. I waited and waited, to see if I could help... Jami kinda brought it to my attention though... but its encouraging, that a friend felt that it's painful to see another friend falling for a trick...
I'm reminded of the book I read a while ago... that Jesus was good and not nice... But I bet to defer, I think He's both good and nice...
and if one has to be in the higher priority, it has to be being good. Looking back, I think I've gotten pretty strict... and most of the time, I wasn't thinking of being nice... I have asked difficult questions, I have made demands (like reading of Genesis)... so on and so forth... but I do think I have moments where I just wanna be nice... where it doesn't cross the line of not being good... like it's not okay to not do bible study no matter how sad you say you are... or how busy you say you are... certain things are just not okay... but its okay to ask for help at the last minute if someone fail you... and to me, friends are there to support one another... no doubt they might not be there for you when you need someone, but it doesn't mean I can't be there for them...
Mat 25:34-36
'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'
My motivation to always help others...
The puppet looks so sad... I wonder if I felt that way... or am I happily helping others and smiling... I am wondering, will someone love me the way I am... (yes, other than Jesus) ? Will someone share that same passion as me... always wanting to help... even at the expense of yourself... will someone laugh at my every joke... tear when I am sad... look after me when I fall sick... grow old with me... do I look forward to it? or do I dread it?
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